There is nothing worse than your pet being sick at home, and you have to bring them to the vet, knowning deep down in the pit of your stomach that something is terribly wrong with them. So wrong you don't even want to bring them in to be looked at...but you do.
You go with all the best intentions and pray for the best. The Vet smiles and tells you they're going to bring them into the back to get some xrays or whatever. Time seems to have stood still and you wait, and wait. Finally the door opens but only the Vet comes back. All you're doing is looking for your pet. That's when reality is trying to kick in the door to your heart.
The Vet starts with, "well we did some xrays and well, it just isn't good". All you hear from that point is, "blah, blah, blah". Than you snap out of it and start to take in what the Vet is saying. You ask, is there anything they can do? Of course says the Vet, but it will only buy you a little more time with them. Our time was only two weeks if we were lucky, but she was suffering.
My husband and I had always said that if ever there was a time that we had to make such a tough decision, it would only be in the best interest of our pet. We knew that it would be purely selfish to keep her for two more weeks, two more weeks of suffering. We couldn't do that to her, she had given so much to us.
So the process began. We drove home with her so we could say our goodbyes and give her endless hugs and tears. I started to make the calls on the way home to the kids. I told them, "come say goodbye". They all knew who I meant. She was the heart of our home.
We weren't proud of our decision, but knew it had to be done. No words ever provide comfort when you are saying goodbye. And time, it's been two years and thirty days exactly to the day as I write this and it still hurts, but in a different way. Going through this process gave me so much insight on how we should have lived with her. How to keep the memories alive and really be thankful for everything she gave us. And not least how to keep her memory alive now.
I say don't remember those last days but the days that they truly lived. When they were running across the grass after the tennis balls, rolling on your bed and giving you those sloppy kisses. Remember them with the happy welcome they gave you when you came home. They deserve nothing less.